I thought it was time I dedicated a post to my transformation. I know you all read my blog title and question how it all came about. WELL, I haven’t always been fit. I haven’t always eaten whole clean foods or been active. I think it’s fair to say in my poor earlier 20’s I lived off of gas station food.
I grew up heavy. My family revolved a fun filled life around food, alcohol, happy hours and each other. I’ve gone up and down with weight because I could never stick to anything. I also had FOMO (fear of missing out), so the gym always took the back burner. Eventually I was fed up, tired of being lazy and feeling like crap. I knew what had to be done. I started separating myself from social activities and working on my health instead. It took me 3 years alone to change my taste buds, to be consistent and begin to crave healthy foods when I was hungry. When friends asked me to go out and I would decline, I remember saying to myself, “Why go out? So I can gain more weight just for everyone else to have fun at my expense?”
I wish I could say I’ve only had to transform once but that wouldn’t be true! The truth is, I’m human and life happens! I don’t beat myself up about it, I just make a plan, work that much harder and take it day by day. I learn something new about myself each time. I’m constantly a work in progress and I’m okay with that!
Long story short, right before the holidays over a period of three weeks, I developed a bacteria infection that ended up spreading and attacking my right implant which I’ve had almost 8 years now. It quickly put me out of work for almost two weeks with a solid schedule booked with clients. Not only was I losing money but I was losing my sanity! ((Back story, years ago I had to have 3 corrective surgeries prior to all of this. I then ditched that place and found my surgeon who I went to for a 4th corrective surgery and has taken GREAT care of me!)) I had to get fluid drained out of my right implant and put on an IV of antibiotics. The following week I was told my right implant would need to be removed. That’s right, I was functioning with only one implant the size of a D and the other a sad natural and deflated A cup. Having only one implant sucked pretty bad but what can ya do.
This happening out of the blue was at a time where I was going to the gym every day busting ass because it became part of my routine. It was my ‘normal’. I’m borderline ADD/OCD and I think it just carried over into my fitness world. I was so obsessive about my food, workouts and being on a schedule. I gave myself zero flexibility. I HAD to workout, I HAD to eat at this time. I HAD to prep my food or make sure I had something else if I was going out or to someones house. I think when I was losing weight in the beginning I had to keep myself strict to be consistent so once I was at a good spot it was hard to train any different.
I have to give Mind Pump credit for being such an amazing podcast. Since listening to Justin Andrews, Sal Di Stefano, and Adam Schafer, I have had a lot of eye opening experiences and have been able to tone myself down a bit. I’ve changed my outlook on health and fitness all together. A lot of what I have heard has made sense but I still was still the ‘except me’ listener. They would talk about people overdoing it at the gym and other eating habits but I said ‘except me’.
However, while being out and on bed rest, I’ve had an even MORE eye opening experience(yes its possible!!)from being an open minded listener! Because of no gym (which has challenged me more mentally!!) I’ve reeeeeeally had to tune in my diet. This made me realize I still do have food addictions and weakness to food but I was justifying certain things I was eating because of how active or hard I was training.
I am intuitively eating! And I finally get what that means! I’m not obsessed with having breakfast first thing in the morning and have incorporated fasting when necessary. I got a fitbit for christmas and was shocked at the little steps/activity outside of the gym I was getting. I’m now taking 30 minute walks in the morning and at night until I’m cleared to get back in the gym full force.
I’m relieved to have more of my life back. I know that sounds so cheesy but it’s true. This experience has taught me about the flexibility, balance and freedom when it comes to eating/training.
Training, something I loved so much was causing me so much stress and I didn’t even realize it. I thought I was healthy and doing things right when I was one of those healthy/unhealthy people you hear about. I was exhausting myself and I feel bad for what I put my body through! I had to have all this happen for me to realize it.
What’s really helped me get through this tough time is the personal growth opportunity I’ve been given.
Regardless of my transformations and positive outcome, the scars, healing and low activity definitely took a toll on me mentally. It was not something I was prepared for. I hope my video helps anyone going through a hard time. Just keep on pushing and you’ll find yourself on the brighter, positive side!
Thanks for all the love and support! Have you had any challenges you’d had to overcome? I’d love to hear your stories!